Some Of My Best Friends Are Autobots It's been a funny old time for the Scavengers. Ever since learning that Megatron has defected to the Autobots and that Starscream now rules Cybertron, their plans to return home have been abandoned, and they have been pottering around the galaxy having wacky adventures: being cursed to speak only in song, accidentally raising eldritch horrors, dealing with the image of Shockwave coming alive from a datapad, holomatter escapades on Magisteria VI, playing Jenga against a giant space jellyfish for the fate of the universe, falling into a perspective trap, and even, somehow, getting turned into toys! Today, though, the crew are just enjoying a simple game of "Shoot Shoot Bang Bang", hunting each other around their ship, the Weak Anthropic Principle, with dart guns. Misfire lets his internal monologue run away with him, allowing Spinister to get the drop on him, but Crankcase jumps in at the last second to score the winning shot. Unfortunately, in order to do so, Crankcase has left the bridge unmanned, and the ship promptly crashes into Tebris VII.
Four hours later, the battered Krok wakes up to find Crankcase and Fulcrum lounging around watching television—specifically, the stand-up routine of Krok's old shipmate Skullcruncher, who has made a mint in the post-war era by rebranding himself as a "self-hating Decepticon" comedian. Heartily cheesed off to see Skullcruncher and so many other Decepticons finding new jobs and new successes while he and the rest of the Scavengers are just bumming around the galaxy living hand-to-mouth, Krok chucks a Skullcruncher souvenir through the television, and starts lecturing his crewmates about taking control of their lives... only to be almost immediately interrupted when a rampaging Grimlock comes tearing into the room, with Misfire holding onto his back for dear life. Misfire has been attempting to "house-train" the mentally-damaged Dinobot, but after his biggest success to date—managing to write the first letter of his own name—Grimlock has had another in an escalating series of "fits" that forces the Scavengers to blast him into submission. Tiring of Krok's bossy tone, Misfire is about to rip into him about the "clicker" in his hand, but before anyone says anything they can't take back, Spinister enters to inform the team a communication is coming through.
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The communication is from Demus, a Decepticon scrap merchant on Tebris VII, who Krok knows from the Triple M sub-group on the Decepticon social networking site, The Big Conversation. Demus invites the Scavengers to his scrapyard, and, thinking they are going to be offered jobs, they even agree to inject themselves with temporary inhibitor chips upon arrival due to Demus's condition—he is so militantly monoform that the very sight of transformation makes him sick. The group are led by the noticeably skittish Demus through his stockyard, full of merchandise from his profitable side-business making "Roboid" toys, before arriving at his office, where it turns out he does not want to employ them: he wants to buy Grimlock from them. He steps out to take a call while the Scavengers talk the proposal over amongst themselves; the obscene amount of money on offer all it takes to sway Krok, Crankcase, and Spinister into selling, outvoting the more compassionate Misfire and Fulcrum, the latter also healthily suspicious of Demus's motives. And it seems Fulcrum is right to be suspicious—out in the stockyard, Demus talks on his communicator in a panicked whisper about being on a list, and needing help from the caller... but he realizes that such concerns have become moot when a huge shadowy figure appears in front of him. Demus is hurled back through his office window and then has his brains blown out right in front of the Scavengers... as the Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord, Fortress Maximus, steps through the door and inquires which of them will be next!